Only on Earth

Only on Earth.
Its softly raining now - in a silent time.
No cars, no voices, no TV or radio  -
the phone is silent and I am by myself.
The earth has rolled away from the sun,
its dark outside.

I can hear Jedda dog scratching on the verandah.
I can hear the cicadas and crickets noise in the dark green.
I can hear the clock ticking away imaginary hours -
but still the silence is all around me.

I can see in my mind’s eye, my husband in bed asleep.
I can see my two daughters giggling as they lie in bed.
I can see the sun and planets whirling around the milky way.
But still I am here -  lump like, thick - dense;
hunched over the bench I am at.

I am sure outside, above the clouds
the sky is like black velvet.
I am sure the closer to the sky I get, the larger it is.
I am sure that as small as I am,
I am larger than the earth... (figure it!)
But still I yearn for coffee, or chocolate or a new dress.

What a crazy mixed up half asleep thing I am.
God of the Universe, but microbe in the cosmos.
God of Eternity, but short lived as a butterfly.
God of my own destiny, but slavelike, easily led...
Still I know the difference...still I yearn for truth.

Around me now, pencils, pens, drawings and screwed up bits of paper.
Around me dirty cups, charcoal capsules for wind;
Around me flowers, books read and unread; pillows on the floor -
I stand tall inside myself,
caretaker of my body and earth.
But still ...
What a crazy thing I am ... ha!
Only on earth - such a contradiction.

Middle Child        1992