and another happy new year from us.............
Some of my own family stories, and some others...
"Please let me back inside you bloody humans...its 4,000 degrees hot out here...and if you show me any more photos of those lucky Corgis playing in the snow ... or looking wistfully out side I'll bloody well howl the house down... ifn I can get inside to do it. "
I haven't stopped laughing since I got this beauty photo...
King Donald of Craggy Island and his bewdiful Queen Middle Child would like you all to have a Happy Christmas and in fact it is we who grant you a whole day holiday so you can celebrate in your funny little homes, and exchange your funny little presents...you funny little people.
I found this old clipping in amongst our photos... circa 1978...
Och Ey the nooo... just thought you'd like to see my own wee castle... with its own wee ghosties and tartan rugs galore.... and no charge to get in over the draw bridge either...not that you'll ever get out again anyway...big money to be made on al those cars parked in our own wee Rob Roy Carpark...
This is for all the middle aged men out there... You be kind to all females aged from 40 plus till when they tell you to stop okay...
My youngest sister trying to feed her darlings to the crocodile...who needs em anyway? Yeass they have been known to grow this big...this is one that died and was stuffed or something...kinda makes you think twice about going swimming in the tropics north of cairns where the water is so blue and the sun so hot.
"Kookaburra sits in the old Gum Tree...merry merry king of the bush is he..." we learnt this song as kids, but the sound of ten of these outside your window at 5am sounds more like the cawing of ravens (crows to us)...I'm glad it is they who eat most of the red bellied balck snakes... have a feeling they are eyeing us off of late...
Its hot here now...and there are some bloody big snakes around here in summer... King Browns...(Death in 30mins)...Red Bellied Black Snakes (kill dogs in 30mins)... Death Adders (don't bother ringing the ambulance...just enjoy the trip) but we're still alarmed at what snake it was made these tracks...maybe a four wheel drive snake stuffing up a day at the beach for us all... King of the road I don't think...King Dick of the beach is more like it... Kids have to dodge these monsters ifn they know whats good for them...they learn this while still young uns.
This is our little dam...with lillies, ducks and the odd stranded cow (neighbour's cow) ...Not as glam as your Scot's Lochs, nor as picture book as those amazing snow scenes from Idaho...and like now in summer the grass grows so bloody long you can hardly see it...we're getting it slashed before Christmas so the kids can find us...
No worries ok... this sister loved this "portrait" and has it immortalised on her fridge door where all great art belongs... she's my much older sister can't you tell! Compared to me...er well compared to anybody she'd pretty darn thin these days...and much prefers to get her calories from Bertolli's sugar free plonk 4,000 litres for $5.... its a bargain.... were amused when she tried to get a whole prawn on a "crouton" of bread and commented about the fat levels...I say bring on the bloody butter...eat and enjoy... for tomorrow no matter what, we all die...but natural butter - and no McDonald's shit...
This photo of my parents on their honeymoon in 1949 represents a triumph against all the odds...some of which I just discovered yesterday...36 years after dad died and 13 years after mum also died.
And then... and then... she threatened my poor bloody teetotaler husband with the last remaining bottle... he was just so scared after seeing the devastation from the kitchen... I mean ...I mean whats a poor bloody cripple supposed to do...thats what he said to me..."Whats a poor bloody cripple supposed to do?
Yeah...it is blurred. What would you do with a camera if your so called responsible sister "the expert" of opening champagne on Melbourne Cup Day (Nov) splashed it all over the kitchen; the cupboard doors; the stove; fridge; the roof...yes the roof and just everywhere and then thought that the damage to her cheap and nasty skirt was more important....?