Sunday, May 21, 2006

The new World order!

Each year in our family birthday cards become poems extrordinaire…this one I just rediscovered was sent to my older sister who is now big old 56… It was done with photos, which I am having trouble uploading with the word doc…any hints..
Where there are italics there were photos…and they were bewdies too…

Happy Birthday Veronica.

This year ...your 51st we have chosen a different theme, Veronica.
No, its not abuse, nor sarcasm...
it is a view of “The Wonderful World Of Moronica”.

“My world is one of laughter and joy,
of shops with no tills
of nothing to annoy,
and no paying of bills.” (Veronica old age sister’s photo)

“I’d better quickly phone to warn all the family men...
of plans afoot
who knows where or when.
Of plans to make us clean up all our own mess,
to make us iron our  own clothes before we dress...
to make us clean the toilet and the bath.
No don’t hang up...don’t dare to laugh.
Our lives of leisure and expectation
that male is king in the Aussie nation...
will be no more our right, no more will we oppress,
those human beings who wear a dress.” Photo of Don looking alarmed.

Melissa and Alison... “About Bloody time too” M& A already know how it all works poor kids.

Andrew “Uh..Oh!”photo of nephew who still was getting his clothes ironed…sacre bleu!

In The Wonderful World of Moronica...
(a) The older and uglier women get
The more they get the men’s respect.

Therese (the Mumma)Thatsa me!
“Ima two young and bewidful
to getta da respecta yet”

(b) Motherhood deserves and is given a title and a car each time...
and a castle given to each mother of nine.

“What! It takes nine to get the castle!!(”She only had one at this time – now had three)

(c) All men will hide their face
in the presence of strange women,
and know their place...
and be bound to look good when they go swimmin’

Veronica “Nothin more horrible than an ugly man at the beach”
Therese “Yeah! they should stay at home”
Jackie “And be grateful” The sisterhood!

It is hereby decreed that the State of The Wonderful World of Moronica will come into being on 3rd September 2001

Pictures of all the office holders... sadly unable to upload and dazzle you all…
1.Veronica--Mother Very Superior and Most Worthy Sister Allyoishus Benedicta Machaelia
2. June--Sister Exalted One Honoured Gymnasius Instructorium Martinus Cecilia Adenoidus
3. (Me) Therese-- Sister Scriptorium Anarchiarcus Well Respected Dominica Angelica Whiskiarsius
4. Joan--Sister Articus Craftiouriium Well Loved Paulus Annunciartia Callathumpia
5. Jackie--Sister Youngious Fertilicia Robustus Once Beautified by the female Pope Agustus Boneventure Scheplucre

For far too long an unjust state
has existed
One we have grown to hate.
While Men have slept
the house was swept.
They thought the sun rose when they did
never noticing all the shitty never ending work we did.

Photos… whata shame…
Therese and June “Washing up means cleaning the whole kitchen, not just the plates”

Joan and Veronica “Grocery shopping is not a shopping trip”
Jackie “You stand in all the queues and pay all the bills!”

Veronica (looking at Mum’s picture)
“It was she who sewed the seed and allowed it to grow”
Therese “Thank you Mum, you taught us all we know”

In the Wonderful World of Moronica
(d) All women would get two full days off a week...
i.e. no washing up at all...let us speak
No unseen slavery known as Wifework
Simply the monotonous unending maintenance
of all the men if they lurk
in our houses.

(e)As there are no more mammoths to hunt
and put upon the family table,
All men will shake off their domestic laziness
and prove that they are able...
or be evicted.

Andrew( nephew) “Lauren close your ears”
Lauren (niece)  “I don’t think so Andrew”
Melissa( daughter 1)“Goodie can we play too”
Alison (daughter 2)“I like the sound of this”

(f) All labour paid and unpaid will be counted in hours...
including all cups of tea made
and all emotional support of tender male egos
which eats us time thats ours!!!

(g) No woman should ever be expected to wash anyone’s clothes
unless they are under thirteen.
This includes all towels, sheets, smelly socks men drop around
not even caring if they’re seen.

Alanah, Tricia and Lauren-( nieces) ”Girl Power!”
Dennis ( nephews)“But I like to come home to clean clothes”
Andrew “ And who will iron my school clothes...I don’t know how”

Well its done...our birthday present starts now...

Shops that never close!
Each week to buy new clothes!
A sisterhood who covers for all our little failings!
There are no hangovers,
Only stress and pressure headaches caused
by men’s unending needs...
and the list of good thing for us in Moronica Land go on.

A Happy Woman Makes A Happy Home INC. 2001


mab said...

What a wonderful idea...Happy Birthday! oh these are priceless; and so apropos seeing as how my birthday is tomorrow, the 22nd.

have a blessed Sunday!


mab said...

well, I been wondering about something; would you be Heather, or her sister? just curious...