One beautifil twilight time in late winter and I was so glad I forgot to shut the front gate which ia about an acre from the house, otherwise I would have missed all of this. No snow but it was chilly. This is the neighbour's house, but the little damm is mine, for now.
And here is my own Mythago Woods... well actually they belong to the neighbour, but I get to enjoy them as well. The sun setting beyond the trees made it look like there were little shafts of fire on the water.

Its done. The last full stop!!
Eighty six thousand words and I think I have done as good a job as I could do. Now its re reading multiple times to get out as much crap as I can before sending it to be edited. Then three chapters and a cover letter and prayers. I think it will be acceptable as the content is strong and relevant as to whats happening in NSW at the moment.

To the left of my computer is a favourite photo of Don and the sun is glancing off his face. I'm not crazy but sometimes that face seems to smile even more and when I put that last full stop down, I have no doubt knowing him he would have been pleased. Only needs a statement from my girls.

If I get hit by a Mack truck tomorrow it won't alter the course of what I have begun and I am anticipating the cold finger of apprehension that will be felt inside Royal North Shore Hospital when its published. Nothing wrong with taking a little pleasure in the discomfort of the guilty ones.

So I'm off down the street to sit in the winter sun with my copy and a cup of coffee or four to begin the long job of corrections, but at least I can do this amongst people. Writing that book has been the loneliest thing I have done for some time and I am exhausted.

Can I get three cheers from all of you : )))??? And if I hear you all, I promise that when (not if) but when its published there'll be a freebie for you if you want it.

This is the Mothership people...
Its a bit of a mess, but I can lay my hands on any book or bit of paper needed in about ten seconds, so it only looks a mess.
Its been such a wild cold and windy day outside, I am reduced to posting piccies of here...I think even the dog has had more than enough attention for today...its so bloody cold and nights coming...





I've had a couple of glasses of that foine old cask I(called a gins purse oooahh that'll lose me half my blog roll sorry folks) of Columbard Chardonnay... needs must, but not too much as if I fall over sleepwalking like Sling did (Nah don't mean it Sling) then I really might be dog meat before anyone realises...he has to eat.
(I just realised that on the back of my chair is the name "Jennifer") Had it for ages...got it freebie from a business that was closing down... god knows why that fan is in the picture...its probably frosted over by now.


Now here's the hub - all those black ring binders are balanced precariously on cardboard shelves...again, needs must. The top row is mainly artwork etc. The next are full of letters and drawings from Melissa and Alison over the years. they grew up and left home in 1994, so a lot of letters and cards. The next row are two volumes of dad's letters to mum between 1946 and 1949 when they married. Its about 150 letters. They are a treasure. I photocopied them out after mum died in 1993 so all five of us sisters would have a complete copy. I intend if able to do something withe these. Mum's replies to these letters were burned by Dad's mum the old Catholic proddie thing... would have loved to have them as she was an expressive writer. Then there's two volumes of letters from mum to me, and they are also treasured. On the next row there are five full volumes of Don's and my letters to the editor over a 20 year period. Thats a real record of our public lives during that period. Don had no hand movement and used a stick attached to a Velcro thingie and would tap out each key laboriously like this. The issues he wrote on were many and all good stuff; anti privatisation, anti world bank, IMF, GATS, GST etc etc, pro local community, pro access for disabled, pro compassion for those society rejected... we were quite a team. The next row are poems and stories I have written over my life...most of them not so good, but I enjoyed myself. and the last lucky last row are legal type things, such as when that bastard of a fake nurse we hired nearly took our house away from us.

But this last shot, oh well just ran out of room...and it's going to take time, still got some Santa stuff there from last Christmas.


Hope your day was more interesting

Farewell Aunty Jack

You furriners are in for a real treat today... I just found the song that Don and I called our theme song... I admit when we used to listen to it and watch the show, there may have been a wreath of smoke about our heads, but even straight we still loved it... Whenever this would come on we'd run and tell the other one and just sit there with silly grins on our faces. At one time we lived in his mother's back bedroom (only a few months) and she would be beside herself because we'd shut the door and put our little 9 inch black and white tele on - and she declared the show was crap and why did we want to watch such garbage - ah well..Don often called me "His little lovely" which actually came out of this song which I think was released in 1973, right up till the end.

This show was unique...






On his headstone the girls and I put "Eternal love from your three little lovelies"
The song brought a tear but happy tears. It was a time when we owned a car worth $142 an old Hillman Minx. We were very young and very much in love - and check out the song below. This was broadcast on ABC (Australian) Tv on the night when Colour first came to Australian TV and it was on the Aunty Jack show when they did the changeover... right in the middle of "Woolongong the brave"

Synchronicity.
Yesterday in the book I'm doing I wrote some paragraphs about some of the coincidences I seem to have had in relation to getting the Inquiry into Don's death started and also the book I'm doing in case or as well...that's progressing pretty well.

Then something happened which made me laugh and laugh. Its too much of a coincidence.

When Don was young, his mum and older relatives often called him Donny - I never did but the kids did if they were shit stirring him. His mum used to always say to never bet on any horse that Donny put money on because it'd lose - she was mostly right. She'd always tell him to put the money on for a win and a place, but he never did. he always went for the win. When his horse came second or third he would always say without exception "You bastard" in the nicest possible way... although I did get a washing machine once from winnings.

Yesterday I got in the mail a book I'd ordered called The book of Australian Popular Rhymed Verse" Its published by the ABC and is a massive 807 pages long.

I plonked it on the table and just flipped it open. It opened on page 324.

This is the four lined poem on that page called
"The Exacta" by Denis Kevans.
"One day Donny went to the races,
And, after the last he reckoned,
'You beauty' always came first,
'You bastard' always came second."

Well after that I just sat down and laughed and laughed. That was unbelievable. So I rang the kids and we laughed some more because that was exactly how he spoke. I'd like to meet this other "Donny"

I promise...this is the last
or one of them of the old photos - or maybe not - depends -




I scanned this in last night and haven't stopped laughing. Remember this event so clearly. If you knew Alison you'd know why I'm still laughing. She was blowing bubbles, but check out the look on her face when she swallowed one if them. Would have missed this if we'd not been so impressed with her homemade Palmolive dish washing detergent bubbles - they were huge...

I think we laughed a bit too hard and long at her over this and can remember a bit of a hissy fit. Parents are horrible sometimes, but good preparation for the real world to have a few chips knocked off the edges of our sensitivity - better done at home with love I reckon, than being too prickly when you get out there.

Thats my excuse anyhow.

Last for today.

Don used to let Melissa do his beard when she was about 13. He was game... She's done two total disasters on mine and will never be allowed near me with anything sharp, never ever never

I remember Don saying to here here "Now are you sure you know what you're doing?"

The total confidence of youth! But no skills at all at all.

But here she is a whole 20 years later and she's still learning - but then true love is blind - It made me laugh when I took these last ones in May this year - and she's still at it and still just as professional.

And you know what I just noticed, Don and Chris have the same silly look on their faces - like they trusted her... or something - maybe it was just admitting defeat gracefully.

Some more lovely old photos - I'm gradually scanning from the old albums. Don took these of the girls at about the same period he took the ones previously. Sometimes when I look at Cazzie's blog and see her family and the fun they have, it seems really like how it was with us, except there were many places we couldn't go to like the beach and others - the kids didn't miss out at all. We all used to agree that it was best when we were at home and could be anyone we wanted to be. They loved their dad fiercely but at times gave him no quarter and there was a lot of shitstirring - which outsiders didn't always get or approve of - you know, disabled people in wheelchairs are meant to be a certain way so that they are acceptable disabled people and thence get the public sympathy. We couldn't handle this sort of stuff and there was never anything conventional about Don... he'd do some really bizarre things when he thought outsiders were watching us too much - he was downright embarrassing at times but we laughed our guts out much of the time - What he left the kids with was the best bullshit detectors a parent could give a child and thats about the best pressie they could have, that and our unconditional love - which was part of the bundle.

These days I tell them that they are the sanest people I know - and they are, or are the three of us insane...who can tell?


I drove past the old place yesterday... its a real jungle now. The house had been moved and sits on a hillside near Coffs Harbour, over 100 kms away- there are four kids in that family so no doubt it is protecting them as it did ours -

Nothing has been done to the land and the wildlife and plants have gone beresk in there.

Its hard sometimes to imagine all the life that went on in that abandoned block of land, but it was bloody wonderful. There were people who lived there before us who had four kids, and then before them there were ten kids - once ours grew up, although we loved the old house... after a few years, actually almost ten years, it was time to move on. I think it needed kids in it.
We planted all the trees and now these ones in front of Don are monsters...


Just some nice memories from the late 1980's

On a Sunday morning long ago -

( these two are 33 and 30 now), I was having a shower so we could all go into town. Don and the kids were all ready... so I thought. I remember he yelled through the bathroom door, you'd better keep the hot water running. Then these two came inside the bathroom.

Bloody hell.

We'd just ploughed up the paddock next door for tree planting, as we had a small nursery. There'd been a lot of rain and Don being the good dad he was told the kids to go for it, but not till he got them to set him up with the camera. we had one that self focused and he took great shots.

I've got a confession...we have 57 photo albums - yes i should be shot but some real good stuff in there. I much prefer photos in an album to on the screen, even if they are bigger and clearer. We had a great day after this, and I didn't mind much at all look at the faces - how could you mind?

I had a visit from the Kiwi connection in our family.

My youngest sister Jackie who is eleven years younger than I am and her three kids and husband. What a shame Mum and dad never got to meet these three little blondies - as wild as anything coming out of the South Island of New Zealand could be.

I had trouble holding little Isaac who is only three..I think he's going to be a bruiser when he grows up...He was looking at a photo of our two kids as babies and I told him that they were my babies. He looked all concerned and said "Where are your babies?" i told him that they had all grown up and moved away and showed him a photo of them. He looked at me so sadly and said very seriously "But you could get more babies" He looked a bit confused when I said maybe I'd get them out in the paddock, till I realised he didn't know what a paddock was...so changed that to out in the yard. He looked at me as if I'd lost my marbles and said "Nahh, not out in the yard!" Shit I always thought they came from out in the yard or somewhere as a kid - still do.

Little Lauren and Tessa were lovely and I spent an afternoon drawing with them when the parents were down the street.

It was bizarre at first as Jackie and Mike hadn't been here since Don's funeral, and in the first day or two no mention was made of Don unless I raised it. I felt terribly lost seeing them as a couple. Its hard to get used to not having the back up of being a couple. Little Tessa broke that by saying to me quietly one day "Were's your Don." and I told her straight and simple. Kids know how to do this stuff better than we do.

I had a lot of trouble being with them for very long. Like I am good for an hour or two but then I stop and have to force responses. I know that there's been real damage done and I may have become a bit of a hermit - that happens when the world scalds you and its judged as acceptable - you have to retreat to lick your wounds and heal - animals do it.

Anyhow I got there. I feel a bit bad because I couldn't really connect with my sister much, but we did on the last two nights as I put on some home videos of her and Don and our family being silly and playing dressups. I felt an ease come into me at least and her I feel.

I just don't have anymore to give out right now.

Lauren made me the lovely pom pom I have around my neck, a most heartfelt gift


I am pleased they came and sorry I couldn't be more spontaneous. I felt like I needed back up, because when theres just one and you get a tribe of visitors it can feel like hard work making the merry go round turn. But I don't think they felt this way.

I am a bit down lately, a terrible nightmare last night which has unnerved me and have to deal with. May have a publisher for the book I am into, may not - it might all fall down.

The photos are good because they are light filled and family is important. I think I may be just a bit lost right now. better find myself again soon. Its so beautiful out here, but gets freaky when you don't see people much - I guess what it is is that I'm not lost because not having people about me, just not having one person and I can't change that and have to come to terms Sorry about the gloomy thought train.

Come on Prime Minister Rudd speak up

I bet he doesn't - he wouldn't have the guts to face down the Chinese in the way suggested below...I still can't believe that the world voted for that monstrous regime to have the Olympics... my opinion. The increase in human rights abuses has gone off the planet in the build up - but hey its all sports people and that great god must be served. The ancient Romans had nothing on whats gone on in China in the past few years.

On the eve of Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s departure to the Beijing Olympics, GetUp and the Australia Tibet Council are launching a television ad appealing to the Prime Minister to use his trip to speak out for the human rights of Tibetans.
The ad will be shown in a mixture of TV advertising slots on a variety of regional and metro stations around the telecast of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony.
The Prime Minister has also been given a copy of the ad as he prepares to leave for Beijing to attend the opening ceremony and meet with Chinese leaders.