Not good news

I took Thorn to the vet yesterday... thinking that his main problem was the massive lump he has grown on his shoulder...

although this is now inhibiting his barking his lungs... etc and is a health issue, he seems to be handling this okay.



I had noticed that he was walking differently, as if his back legs were robotic... sort of uncoordinated... I had mentioned to the vet previously that he was holding his tail in a strange way (for him).



Turns out that there is a bloody growth which is interfering with his back legs neurologically. Something is growing against the spinal cord and has progressed noticeably since Christmas.



He is in no pain, but will become more uncertain as to where to put his legs, as the grown increases.



The vet said in time I will have to help him stand and he will begin to prefer to lie down as much as possible. He said it doesn't appear that there is pain involved. One day his back legs will be paralysed. He was not optimistic about the time frame.



Bloody hell... this time it was our old cat who was becoming ill, she ended up paralysed and had to let her go.



Thorn has taken to following me seems unhappy if I am not there, or if someone is not there. But other than that we have some really long sessions where he just lays his big old head on me and we just enjoy.



I was so dreadfully upset yesterday on top of other things... today I will begin to do what I must to make him feel secure and cared for.



I have grown to depend on him for company. He's easier than humans and makes much more sense. Its funny, when you lose someone, some part of you thinks that there is a tally being kept and a being says Okay, thats her fair share" but in life I have learnt it doesn't work like that.



Often when someone dies or is injured, you seem to be hit with a multiple of things, and some people seem to sail through life with almost nothing terrible till towards the end...whereas some families have awful things happen, and then more awful things happen...



We are somewhere in the middle of the two extremes... which is fair enough I suppose.