Happy Wedding Anniversary Joan and Bruce.

They look so happy here...taken about 6 months before his death. he would be almost 51 today...

This is my younger sister and her husband. Today 30th April is their Wedding Anniversary.

Today the man who killed Bruce on the highway last March was sentenced to four years jail.

Today Joan gave a victim's impact statement which the police said made the sentence six months longer. I heard that statement read through many tears as she wrote and rewrote it - how do you out it all in a few minutes...an impact like that?

It wasn't just an accident and was clearly intentional - there were so many witnesses as he was the bus driver and the bulk of the passengers saw the 4Wdrive coming at them on the wrong side of the road for some way...no booze, no drugs, no explanation that makes sense. By pleading guilty he avoided facing all those witnesses.

If he hopefully keeps his head down and serves his time - plenty of time to think - he may come to appreciate what he has caused. That is the best outcome. its never about revenge..although at first you want to rip someone's head off...hopefully he will come out and do something worthwhile with his life t make up for the dreadful suffering he has caused.

hen my sister told me the court was to be held on the wedding anniversary I was sad for her...but now in her and their daughter's own way they can breathe again and perhaps celebrate with Bruce behind them all the way.

So Happy anniversary Joan and Bruce.

It is such an achingly beautiful day today.
The air is light and rests easily upon the land about here. The many shades of green on the trees hereabouts are reflecting the sun's gentle light. Its one of those wonderful autumn days when you feel that no matter how bad things can get, how much you miss those you have lost, no matter lack of money or security, no matter the mongrels we elect who betray us daily - there really is magic in the world. There really is a plan for us all but within that plan there is free will which some might see as a conundrum...but it makes sense to me.

On days like this it is hard to not to have a few tears because of memories born on the gentle breezes...and a few tears have been shed today...but I feel better for at least feeling something rather than just blindly going through the hours I have been allowed to have today just to contemplate.

I feel a change in the air - not the weather but as if things are getting ready to shuffle into a different order...it feels like a good change...

and just as I began to write this down I had a phone call from an old friend who was instrumental in putting me in touch with the journalist who did the last edit on my manuscript - the one I haven't been able to find a publisher for...This old friend ...Dorothy has just re read the edited version and knows of a publisher/printer who is eager to read the manuscript and said she would be brave enough to publish it as her husband has been treated very badly medically and left with a condition he need not have suffered... out of the blue! I was searching my brain for some way to bring this to fruition and I admit after speaking with Dorothy I went outside and loudly said thanks many times. So much has been open ended..to have the story of what happened exposed will do it for me...then I can start looking for something I can do to bring in a few dollars extra - as it is now every day there has been more letters I have to send out...more documents to produce...all if it seeming so dry compared to the reality of what I describe.

The other day I received this from one of my girls,
"I just read all the correspondence to do with the HCCC, your reply is really well put. I can't believe the lies they seem to so freely spew out. It is obviously bullshit, They don't want it published on the web because it will make them look like what they really are, careless, heartless, useless, uneducated, half-assed, thoughtless, cruel & a completely biased organisation that assists in protecting the medical world and the evil they do. They condone these acts by not doing anything about them. I am so sorry for you that you are battling against these endless brickwalls, I am also very proud of your determination and incredibly well worded and articulate letters and documents. Dad would be so very proud of your work in defending him. I hope that you can find a warmth in knowing you really are doing all that can be done to bring justice to what happened to him, it is just too bad that the system is so corrupt. You are a truly wonderful person mum and I really look up to you, you have such a rich and well rounded character and are so very intelligent"...

She is right about the "well rounded" bit but not too sure about the "intelligent" bit...especially as past 2pm comes and my mind slows down...I really only spark in the early hours. But how nice to have something like this written by a daughter while you are still alive. I know both of them are like me damaged by the horror we witnessed and now understand from the information we gathered. She is right ..."it is just too bad that the system is so corrupt."and sadly because of our circumstances our daughters have been aware of this reality ever since they were young and still in high school - yet they and I are generally cheerful and happy as Don was also -much better knowing what is wrong and how bad it is and then you adapt and can separate yourself from becoming part of the general corruption and remain sane in what is really an insane world where we elect the most self seeking and corrupt to be the guardians of the country - and they act as if they are doing us a favour, and not employed by us.

Ha ... she wouldn't think I was so intelligent if she could see me most of the time - any bright stuff I do seems to come in a flash and over with just as quickly...and I am not all that sure its to my credit what I have achieved in these flash moments... sometimes I have to consider... and bear with me here...I consider that if I do the right thing for its own sake...and as I believe in Angels - as long as I am ready to act when inspiration comes..I feel like I get a boost at times. Sometimes I find myself laughing at things I have planned to embarass or ambush this or that pollie when I get the chance...and I am darn sure I get help here, because it all seems to pan out. No doubt God has a sense of humour - he created us after all

And haven't stepped a foot inside a church door for years apart from funerals...

On days like this I feel the agelessness of the land and sky around me...something I can recall feeling as a little kid in the quiet moments...although I did not have the words for the feelings then...the feelings are exactly the same as when I stood barefoot in the cool grass, looking at the clouds or stars above and I remember that child so well.

That child was not adverse to a certain amount of mild skulduggery and got away with far more than she ever got punished for (the balance struck)...and as long as I can face her clear eyes and heart and recognise that I haven't done injustice for the things that little kid felt and hoped for...my life will have been worth living.

And on a day like today...life is worth the living and I am so grateful for just appreciating what I do have at this time in my life...my kids, family, my health and a roof over my head.

I thought it was too good to be true...
The cat grass I have grown was all healthy and had a good cover so I thought it safe to bring it inside...previously Tiger the lighter coloured cat had decided to swim in it in the middle of the night or dig it all up and I came out to find the back room covered with dirt... so back to the drawing box...
I saw them finally close to each other placidly eating and not sign of enmity... ti Cuss looked up and saw me... she looked away and back a few times and then the last photo...poor Tiger big as she is is not the sharpest knife in the drawer and didn't get the final menacing look in Cuss's eyes..time to skedaddle...but Tiger went back to chewing on the grass thinking alls well...seconds later there was a hiss and snarling and Cuss lunged at Tiger who retreated in a flash... animal politics are so much more honest than human ones. Cuss and Tiger get along just fine when they can't see me...

Tiger still hasn't figured out the cat door after all this time and fine by me...hence the cat grass as she never goes outside...There is plenty of sun inside the house in many spots so she's fine that way.

Ain't nature grand?


When I got down to Windsor (Sydney)..both Melissa and Chris were quite upset. I won't go into details but it was about the worst experience of a loved animal being put down that could be imagined. Chris in almost 50...he was the last person i thought would be so affected...and it really helped me to see how affected he was..bodes well for their future. His voice was wrong and he cried...

So here are some of the photos. Melissa wrote this on the inside lid of the box she put together for little Comet...I have no doubt her heart was breaking as it has broken for too many times in the past few years...

she even put photos of us all inside the box...
we buried him...and planted an Azalea tree over him called "happy Days"

then amazingly...a dumped but not feral cat which has been visiting them for some time but could not be touched allowed Melissa to not only feed him but to touch him. he is very emaciated..very. Been living rough for about 18 months but no one could get near to him.

he let me even pat him on my last day there. His backbone was so sharp it felt as if it could come out of his skin.

So she fed him up and talked to him... (i used the long lens on these photos so as not to frighten him)



His back is all wrecked as if he has been run over...but he has amazing eyes and lovely fur... poor bloody animal - no doubt been dumped...

so she is loving him up...he is not Comet...but he was hungry and now he is not...she will try to tame him up enough to take him to the vet for treatment...

The hearts of my daughters... this one and the other are so deep and soft...something is hungry it needs f eeding thats all...I have and some of you have no doubt been destitute and hungry at some time in your life...

my girls restore my belief in the innate nature of humanity...along with all the cruelty there are amazing acts of love and tenderness...mostly all unrecorded...

All the time until Comet died this cat was shy...without knowing Comet was gone...the very next day he allows himself to be fed and stroked...how do you figure this...something to do with cats is happening here

I was just sent this...its a real hoot

Am back now and will catch up later today



...some time ago Melissa took this photo of my mailbox(tin) so very careful when putting my hand in for letters and bills - this is just a green tree snake and not poisonous - much less bite than my electricity bill thats for sure.

us


Goodbye Little Comet.
I will be driving down to Sydney early tomorrow morning to be with Melissa. Comet her cat has been with her since 1996...and has survived with not 9 lives but 99 lives and counting. This old kitty has crossed Erskinville Rd coming on dark at peak hour in and out traffic and nary a scratch...cat fights galore..cat staph ...Melissa became a dab hand at fixing up his wounds as the vets bills were keeping her very broke...

This cat listened to all her joys and all her many sorrows...no doubt it was Comet who was Melissa's confidante when her dad was dying and after...she seldom told me her sadnesses...and I know that this cat heard it all...Melissa like her dad never complains about anything really...a rare trait these days. This cat was an abused cat before Melissa became his person...never a friendly cat to strangers nor to Melissa's husband who copped the odd long scratch right down his leg...Comet was Melissa's darling. Even I was a bit nervous when left in the house alone with Comet as he would stalk me until i fed him and then stare at me balefully till she returned...I slept with the door shut!!!

The past weeks she has battled to keep him alive but today admitted he was dying and suffering dreadfully...today the vet came...and it sadly was botched as he struggled and hissed and clawed although he was close to death...Melissa was shocked by his end, believing it would be peaceful when it was anything but.

Ahhh! my heart broke for her... this daughter has seen too much, suffered too much...and I worry about her. But she gave this little creature her all...and no doubt he knew...some pets are special...and have real personalities richer than some human beings...and Comet was one of these.

So I will do the drive to her tomorrow to be there in time for little Comet's funeral...and will catch up here in about a week. I don't handle my kids suffering very well...its not just a cat...its much more than that and sadly happened on the third anniversary of her dad's first Respiratory Arrest which led to his death...so for us its sort of connected...Melissa is the sort of person who walks past other people's pets and strays on the street but cannot just walk past...you can see her heart melt...and its real..not just cutsey ... she and people like her represent the best of humanity I feel. Caring for caring's sake and thats all...Tonight she is a mess and its not just about Comet...I know that, she told me. Its about her wondering why bad things happen to good people and the bastards seem to live forever without any comeuppance or any insight into how the rest of us think and feel. And what I hope I can tell her is that if she ever understands the bastards she is lost... they are beyond our human comprehension and thats how it should be.

Sadly the death of this little cat is for her and connected with the death of her dad...and we know why.

From previous post - Forgot to put these two in how about their eyes?

...
Frogmouth Owls

I was outside cleaning up and look what was sitting so close and so still for ages - First I thought there was only one owl then it flapped up into the tree near the front steps and there were two... I don't think they could really see me that well because at one time I was close enough to touch them - but didn't...that beak looks pretty solid...there had been a goanna in the bushes below maybe thats what they were doing there - but he was huge so maybe they were just out late ,,,click on the photos to have a really good look at them - they are something

Sling commented on my last post about singing the kookaburra song when he was in school - over in the US -

In Australia there has been a controversy about a band from the 70's pinching a bit of it for their song - as it is a folk tune from way back - Wales or somewhere (the tune not the song which was written by a school teacher before I was born -) i don't think anyone has rights on it... The band is called Men at Work




and if you liked that golden oldie you might like this oldie which is all based on Australian place and animal names - you have to be Australian to get all the subtleties

Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree....

Not exactly a gum tree but his kookaburra sat outside my window for the longest time - as if tame...even making direct eye contact with me many times. They don't usually come right up to the window here... it was an amazing feeling to be so close... click on the photos to ee it up close...when it landed its crest was all fluffed up - I think it might be a female as the males seems to have the crest up all the time (typical het) or maybe a dfferent breed of kookaburra

Some very brave men here a cat herdin'.

I showed this to Cuss and Tiger and they were very interested...give it a go round the old corrall this arvo