Thursday, February 25, 2010

Don's Find.
I've been using Don's old computer as mine is no more - in a few weeks I will be able to replace it, but for now I am sitting at his old spot, the spot where he typed hundreds of lette
rs to the Editor and media releases all done with a bit of wooden dowel strapped to his hand, to replace his fingers. Nobody knows how hard that was and how long it took him, but he was so determined and so interested in areas of social justice, he was like a tidal wave once he got started - sweeping me along with him, happily.

In his computer I found this series of photos he got one of us to crawl through the undergrowth and take these photos of the Satin Bower Bird;s bower...

How on earth he was able to see it from his wheelchair through all the bushes is beyond me. He could always spot things that most of us didn't see - in many ways - but in the natural world he was able to see birds nests and Koalas and all sorts of things which were well nigh invisible...

Of course I had long
ago backed up his computer just in case... and sometimes I sit here and go through the hundreds of documents he wrote - One day I think I will print them all out as a sort of tribute to him, for our girls - I think they will be amazed at the breadth of his knowledge and interests - although somehow I think they know too well where his head was at.
Then I took this last photo of him from inside the bush, near the bower looking out at him. He was so pleased with himself...





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12 comments:

Sling said...

Wondermous!..I swear,when I saw all the blue bits,I thought,'That's a bower bird trying to attract a mate!'
You have a genuine treasure of Don's waiting inside that computer. :)

Cazzie!!! said...

Just as you say..beauty comes to us at unexpected moments. I love that you have these images to remember Don's amazing character...amazing how his eyes were so precise to see these treasures :)

Maggie May said...

I read through the chapter you posted of the partial story of your husband Don's death and what happened. You are clearly a woman with a fine, bright spirit who has loved deeply in her life, and by writing this out are finding a way to fight for your spirit, which has clearly been so traumatized and broken by the suffering your husband endured. It was very painful to read. I am so glad that Don had you there with him, at least, the consolation of a deep love is no small thing, even under such horrible circumstances.

I recognize many of the mentions you made about your feelings and perceptions as severe shock and strain. I myself have Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome, brought about by entirely different circumstances, but similar things, like numbness and tingling, a feeling of removal from your own body, flashbacks, etc. If you are still in a lot of emotional pain perhaps you would consider a grief therapist and medication? The right medication gave me my life back. ALthough nothing can change what happened, the right help can make life liveable on a more human scale.

I am deeply touched by your story, by your love with your husband as much as the suffering. You were so blessed to have each other.

xo

Andrew said...

I was a school kid, young. I watched a bower bird build a nest. Interesting that they can cope with such varied climate conditions.

Maybe it seems to you that Don died so long ago, but clearly he did not if was so conversant with computers.

So do you feel like his passing was a long time ago, or just yesterday? I bet a bit of both.

Middle Child said...

Sling - I know I have a treasure - its just hard to go through - some funny things there as well - like the letter he promised to write to the kids which never got any longer than two lines...they'd ask him wher was his letter to them and he'd always tell them he lost it in the computer somewhere...

Middle Child said...

Cazzie - he was uncanny in his ability this way...

Middle Child said...

Maggie May - Thank you for that. I will visit your blog and say hello, but will be away for just over a week so will have to wait for that. I am okay I think emotionally - and have seen a grief councilor - am trying to have published what happened to Don and us all

Middle Child said...

Andrew - Don got his first computer in 1982 the year he was injured. It was an Australian Microbee made in South Australia. He was self taught but they were pretty simple in those days.

He died in May 2007 - It feels like yesterday but also it feels as if that time was not long ago, but actually in another universe - sort of like Dr Who - if that makes sense. Feels really close but untouchable.

Random Thinker said...

When you write about Don like this you bring such a smile to my face and a warmness to my heart. Thanks.

Anne said...

You are a special pair. What lovely memories - thanks for sharing.

Have never heard of a bower bird.

To answer your question on my blog - I think jandals are called thongs in Aust.

rosemary said...

how wonderful to find these photos....the one of Don made me cry.....happy through all of the physical misery he went through.

Middle Child said...

Random Thinker - Thanks for that - across the thousands of miles we can affect each other positively - what a world.

Anne - so I have jandals on my feet right now - but have worn thongs since I first could walk... if you look up Satin Bower Bird you will find out about them...the male really has quite a harem that he leads into his bower.

Rosemary - thats something I never could match up to him with - he was still like a kid in kindy -he was curious and interested in absolutely everything - in spite of the pain he suffered...how did he get to that mind place? I loved and love him beyond all words