Finally I gave away Don's wheelchair - it was very hard because he was in it for so long - but then i reasoned that he didn't love his chair - it was a means to an end and someone else will get some quality of life out of it as these days disabled people are treated like crap by the government and wait years sometimes for chairs and mobility aide - but hey.. we need that darn stupid soon to be outdated NBN broadband - think how many people suffering isolation because they haven't got a wheelchair, or can't afford a decent amount of care...garrrgh! If we were civilised these would be at the apex of the triangle of needs.
I met another long term Quadriplegic, yesterday when he and his wife came to pick up the wheelchair – He looks as tired as Don used to do and guess what! His Doc said maybe you have “Sleep Apnoea” (thats what they tell all Quads who are tired - thats what they told don and another from over near Scone -and that ignorance contributed to their deaths - I told him to post haste ask for an X ray to check the lungs – I felt so much for him because I can see how tired he is and I know that look. Hopefully he can get decent treatment.
I went out to Wauchope cemetery today as it is Don’s 61st birthday tomorrow but I will be away seeing the girls for a few days – it is so peaceful and beautiful a place...Just as I was about to leave, feeling sad – a tiny little grey bird came and sat close on the next headstone and just sat there looking at me for minutes – Don loved birds and planted trees that encouraged them – I know it was just a bird but sometimes I wonder. Mum died on the same day 4th July 91993) and we were close as she was lovely (lucky me) but is not a day to be on your own for...so the three of us and husbands will be together - didn't plan it - it just happened
Now i have decided to sell and move to Victoria the house seems to be showing me how lovely it all is. I will never have a place as peaceful and beautiful as this - outside the long blue shadows rest upon the paddocks away to the horizon and there is a feeling that there is something more here other than land and grass and sky...
but I just can not do another winter of long nights - can not be apart from my family much longer and can not really afford the upkeep of this lovely place of healing.
Some shots -
1. My favourite thinking spot at the table
2. The back room with the seldom used exercise bike - what was i thinking of?
3.Don's office spot and his computer still works - Brownie might see her "Aunty Jack" promo up there on the wall - it was our theme song along with a few dozen others
4. the view out the bedroom window
5. and out the bedroom door -
Its a house of windows and light.