Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Big day today!
I signed up with the Real Estate Agent today - a bitter sweet moment - some private tears thats for sure - Its like I am happy to leave here - the town itself has not been a kind place really  - I think too many thought I should just cop it sweet the killing of my husband - but they were only the people who did not know and sadly it is mainly the more "professional" people in town who are like this - I have had too many who would once sit down with us and have coffee in town walk past me, ignore me,  - but I usually step right up in their faces and Say a bright " hello" which makes me smile because I can see how it disconcerts them 0 in some way I feel and I know its not my imagination  - I have stepped out of the "respectable widow" role and am seen as a shit stirrer..a role I relish because it is the shit stirrers who make change happen - and its not easy to be in this mindset -

Tomorrow I have to front up to the Port Macquarie Base Hospital for day surgery - its exploratory - as you can imagine I am sick in my guts about this after Don's last time here when they sent him down to Sydney with  inadequate notes which exacerbation what was done to him - but needs must.

Its simple stuff I know but it scares me more than you can imagine - to be in their hands, unconscious - to have to trust that the right things will be done - wish i felt lucky but time and circumstance have shown me we are not "the lucky family".

Feel like a big sook - have a taxi booked already and a friend who will spend the night after with me so am lucky - the damage done out of what was done to my lovely Don runs so deep and as I pack up my house/ my life - as I go back into the world that killed him I realise how damaged I really am. And thats whats left when those of us who see those we love abused and killed in the medical system deal with. There is not body to care about this. There is no counselling for this. Nothing. Those who have had rellos killed can hopefully access some help but for those of us...over 18,000 in 1995 who have rellos killed by medical negligence there is nothing at all - but go home and go on - I figure that by now 16 years later the figures of those killed is much much higher - and add to that the hundreds of thousands of those permanently injured - you can't even contemplate. If this many planes dropped out of the sky due to pilot  negligence it would be a national disgrace - It Is a national disgrace...but protected and submerged because there is no system of honest and open investigation - much needed and overlooked - No one wants to tackle this issue.

I think my home will sell quickly - it is so lovely, unique and peaceful out here. When I come out of town to here its almost as if a sigh of peace descends upon me as I drive through the gate - I just hope people who appreciate this will but it.

8 comments:

Andrew said...

Shit stirrers and activists do make things happen. Power to you. A woman died here in Melbourne recently after an operation to have her tubes tied, or something like that. The outcome of that will be interesting. Medical things are very inexact sciences. Of the stats you mention, some will be medical wrongs, but some will be just things that have happened through no fault.

What an exciting new life you are moving on to.

Cazzie!!! said...

Take care Therese, you are in my thoughts today my friend xoxo

FoxyMoron said...

When our daughter Sarah died from SIDS, we were helped by an organisation that was then called SIDA, started by other bereaved parents.
When my brother was murdered we were helped by the Homicide Victims' Support Group, why can't there be something started for victims of medical negligence? From the stats you quoted it is sorely needed.
Feeling for you on selling the property, although I feel it's right for you, it must be so, so hard.

jacquiboydalden said...

good luck with the house sale. What is the exploratory surgery about? Have you had an endoscope?I know you have had some symptoms of heartburn recently.
This is my hobby horse at the moment, having discovered I have Barrett's oesophagus and the alarming increase in the cancer associated with it,(a 6 fold increase over the last 20 yrs). Fortunately, seems like a very slight possibility but it reassuring that I will be monitored for the rest of my life.

Middle Child said...

Andrew - the stats are that 18,000 were accepted by authorities as being medical negligence, error etc - there are many more deaths in hospitals in Australia but these are acceptable as they are people who would have died anyway - the 18,000 are those directly killed as a result of medical intervention - this is the shocker the medical error action group MEAG has this all on their website. Their leader Lorraine Long helped me to launch my book and I am a member of the group - wish I had known about it before Don went to Hospital

Middle Child said...

Cazzie thanks - am home and alive!!!

Middle Child said...

Foxymoron - not and that is the sad thing - there is absolutely no help and support at all - you are on your own and people as a rule do not comprehend the damage

Middle Child said...

Jacqui
Its women's secret business some polyps/fibroids and a D and C - will know on next Wednesday but I feel everything will be okay. I hope so for you as well