Friday, August 14, 2009

CS just responded to my previous post
that I had a "Sweet" voice...why thank you CS...not something we Australians would fact some years back our writing group, ( half of who were recently off the boat from Pommiland) had to read out stories on local radio and the husband of one of the readers said "You can pick out all the best readers, they're the Poms" - and he was Australian! ... So CS you can see why your compliment was well received. You Yankees must be a bit kinder than the Poms.
I was gobsmacked because was being read out in Australia, on the Australian Broadcasting Commission's radio station - coming from a generation which is way past cultural cringe of being England's leftovers I wrote this which was read out at our next meeting with great approval from my Aussie compatriots...

The Verdict

The verdict is now in; we can all do our sums,

From Yorkshire and Scotland, or from London slums,

Their musical, modulated enunciation,

Their rich and well-paced pronunciation

And for their accented, articulate, articulation

We stand in awe and absolute adulation,

With wailing and gnashing of teeth for

No matter how correctly they give us their instruction,

The best readers in our group appear to be Poms.

Not like us, us low bred; bred from convict scum,

From a motley lot who don’t know where we came from.

Drawling slow and dreary - as bleak as a hot Sunday afternoon,

Under brazen open skies our narrowed lips and eyes,

Droning flat our vowels - flat as the land of our birth,

Or rattling out our words like bullets

So as not to take up someone else’s time –

we’re an unselfish lot we are, that way.

Nah! We’ll never read as good as any Pom.

But stone the crows and starve the lizards,

we’ve got colour in our language.

It sears with sarcasm, hot as tar in February

And a flick of a word from a closed mouth can wound or praise,

Even though you might have to ask for it to be repeated.

Yes, and we’ve learned from the Master - Paul, (Ex PM)

from Bankstown, that a soufflé rising twice

has nothing at all to do with cooking. Thank you Paul.

But nah! We’ll never read as good as any Pom.

Even “Blind Freddie could see that Poms all read so well

And so what if they “have more hide than Jessie”,

and don’t know “whether they’re Arthur or Martha”.

So what if they’ve got “more front than Myers”

And are well known to be shy of water,

But we’re such happy little “Vegemites’

(Or should I call us Dickie Mites, now they’ve sold our National icon,)

We’ll let them read on radio, with their peculiar pacing pronunciations

All sounding vaguely like Judy Dench, God love her -

That’s the sort of people that we are,

But nah! Still, we’ll never read as good as any Pom.

I am off to Sydney today and will catch up with things when I can access a computer...


FoxyMoron said...

Great stuff MC!

Middle Child said...

Foxymoronand itsall true isn'tit?

Cazzie!!! said...

Lucky to Sydney :) Take care

Middle Child said...

Cazzie...then a flying visit to see my youngest in Melbourne and get the last of my horrible varicose (and I don't mean spider veins) veins done...just before summer and so pleased to be done...heridatry was the main reason fro the trip seeing the specialist...wouldn't trust the docs in PM to do it and not stuff up. and Alison got me in down here to a Dr John Marx who needles the veins and does a good job...if you know anyone who needs it done not cosmetic but for health reasons.

Sling said...

I don't know for sure what a 'Pom' is,(a Brit?),but I find the Aussie accent thoroughly charming!

cs said...

See MC--you have a grand voice! It flows like melted soft and lovely
Like Sling--not sure what a Pom is, but I am chuckling at the slang. Have a wonderful trip to starts for me next week and my school email to do list form the principal is already leaving me breathless...
breath in---breath out....

Anne said...

Loved watching the video of your Saturday afternoon:-) I agree with CS re your voice.

Good luck with the veins!

Middle Child said...

Sling...A Pom or Pommie is an English person...not a Scot or Irish or Welsh person - can be a term of endearment or can be used as a shit stir... started I think after WW2 when the Government sponsored "Ten pound Poms" to come out to Australia to live and it only cost them Ten Pounds. Many Aussies are of Scots Irish Welsh Aboriginal descent and the Poms were the main ones in Authority since 1788 until probably the 1960's so there was from some a bit of resentment, but also some Poms in the early days and not most - could be a little rude about those of us who they considered part of the british colonies and a penal one at that...nowdays its pretty good.

Middle Child said...

CS and Anne thanks..."Melted butter" well I have never heard that said before and probably never will again