Friday, May 18, 2012

A special day yesterday

Five years yesterday since Don died. A special day today with Melissa phoning to see if I was okay - but she breaking down as soon as she got on the phone and Alison making sure I wasn't alone - which was good for her as well I know - wonderful kids who have had lives that already haven't been easy - hard to credit 5 years - we went to the Op Shops - a favourite and cheap thing to do - Ali came back here and played with the cats - they posed pretty well as they usually act as if you have pointed a gun at them - maybe knowing Don's love of cats it's with good reason they are shy of cameras - although I remember his crying after our old cat Archimedes was buried - as he said when being serious (?) it wasn't the cats he hated but what they did when left to roam... sort of agree these days... which would amaze him.
Lit some candles as I usually do not just for Don but for all important remembrances such as Mum and some flowers from my yard. I feel it's important to have those days in the year when we set aside time for reflection no matter how painful - a few tears never killed anybody. 

Just something that occurred to me and which is important - our families are getting smaller. The people we love and who love us are spare on the ground. Over the years I learned a lot from watching Don's bravery and suffering and through levels of pain most cannot imagine  - he was there with his quick wit and his caring for us all.
From the moment he came into our family he cared - sometimes that caring was a bit rough around the edges - what didn't kill me made me stronger (??)... and one thing he taught me was the value of having honest feelings for people.  

Don came from a different background where - although he was loved - it was fractured.
The girls know most of this and they should be proud of the man he was - not perfect but strong, brave and a gentleman  No matter what happened in my days and life he was there behind me. That's something not many have. Home meant so much to him before and after his accident. Family was all.

Some tears shed as the hours came closer - no harm done at all - nothing wrong with the odd good cry. Still I feel like I am a lucky person - always felt this way (so far) its  hard because it was so good. Some people never have what we had - and maybe its easier after - but I can't imagine living with normal, passionless,  ordinary or safe.


Anne said...

Hugs to you. Loved this post.

Your last paragraph summed up so much and I understand.

iODyne said...

I remember the day too. Much love to you all and isn't Alison just a lovely girl - you're a lucky woman Middle Child. X X from Ann O'Dyne as well as me

Mom said...

My brother said at my dad's funeral, "If the pain I feel today is the price I have to pay for being loved by this man, I'll pay it a thousand times over." You were so well loved and hold such sweet memories. You are blessed.

Anonymous said...

such a beautiful and brave post. You were blessed, Therese. You still are x

Linda J

Middle Child said...

Thank you Anne, Ann O'Dyne and Mom - and anon
I am amazed at how long most of us have been on blogger and in touch...quite a history