Thursday, March 31, 2011

Feeling a little nostalgic today as Autumn seems to affect me like this.
Some lovely photos of Don and the girls one of them taken when they were teenagers and the others in their twenties - they are now both well into their thirties - its hard to credit all the time that has passed - but then only have to have a gander at my old licence photo to see that in that same time I have gone from being young to looking like someone else - who can she be the face in the mirror looking at me?

Good news re Melissa's husband - they unwrapped the stump of his leg and its healed nicely with no sign of infection at all and the doctor is very pleased with himself at the neat job he did...this makes it easier for them as sometimes they can look a bit rough. So now he goes to rehabilitation which will be good as there is too much time to think just lying in the hospital bed... and the quicker he gains as much independence the better for both of them. We have just got to hope and pray that the other leg stays healthy... he was doing all the right things re controlling his diabetes - but the arteries supplying blood to the leg became blocked with calcium and that was hopefully the specialist will give him a plan as to how to avoid this in the future.

Its odd to think of my daughter in a similar situation as i was - although Don was much more disabled, Melissa will deal with the issue that the diabetes will have a great affect on his life quality - can't help but wish for her an easier time after what she has been through . Anyhow as long as they both pull together and are considerate of each other, both seeking to help the other in any way possible - thats what worked for Don and I. He did what he could do to make things easier for me and that attitude made me want to do the same for him. When you really love someone thats what you want to do. Not to say there weren't some beauty rows in our time together - but we always seemed to get it sorted - and as i had to sleep in the same room as him for his safety, somehow by the morning it seemed to heal.

So many women end up in separate rooms - usually starts out because the husband snores like a demon and then becomes all the time. But I always found it healing to sleep together after a fight even though you might huff and puff or be really angry - Melissa knows this and as long as he husband eases pressures off her that he can ease...they will be okay.

I don't know why our family seems to have such hits occurring over and over - not many make old bones amongst us - and I know whole families who still have multi generations of family all alive, all healthy and all living close. In my whole life the 1970's was the only decade when nothing too terrible happened...every other decade of my 5 plus seems to have had people injured badly, killed, die too young and we are all scattered to the four winds.

Yet still life is sweet and I am not complaining, just really thinking things through. Sometimes when I look at my husband's face, remembering what he went through and him still wanting desperately to live - I feel like I am not as strong as i could be. I admit quietly in here that I am absolutely terrified of something happening to the girls and am under no illusion that just because bad things have already happened they won't happen again. I don't constantly think like this and am usually really positive - just that tinge of autumn in the air doing its work...I haven't really had much time in the house of late to dwell on these things - and it doesn't hurt once in a while...maybe even good to take stock and understand and appreciate what i actually do have, rather than just blunder through life without any reflection on things around me.


FoxyMoron said...

Therese I can't see the photos, they just come out as little red crosses.
I know what you mean about Autumn weather, it does that to me a bit too.
Glad Chris' leg has healed well.
I have had people say to me what a hard life I've had, losing my father so young, losing a child and the murder of my brother. You're right some families seem to cop it worse than others. But I don't see my life as being hard, I just see it as my life and I've had so many blessings. The things that have happened to me have made me who I am and have taught me to (mostly) appreciate all I have. But reflecting on these things can be good, and sometimes it's good to just have a good old wallow, nothing wrong with that at all.

Middle Child said...

I know how tough you have had it - with the worst being the death of your little baby...maybe thats why I understand you and issues you deal with - some seem to live in gilded cages but the rest of us have rusty cages all round - but in the wash eternity where it matters I feel the balance will be struck

Middle Child said...

don't know why the photos didn't come out - must be to do with the email account I have just changed to a few weeks ago

Shrinky said...

Did you take the photo's down? I don't see any at all! Some people do seem to walk a harder path than others, yet I always find those who do turn out to be the most compassionate around us (hugs). Sadly, life does often throw us some terrible curve-balls, doesn't it? It's hard sometimes not to be waiting for that other shoe to drop! Great news about Chris, it's a good start to his recovery. You have good reason to hold your loved ones close in your heart hon, nothing wrong with that!

Anne said...

I can't see the photos either?

Better news about Melissa's husband. I'm sure that both you and Don have taught her a lot over the years by your example and she will be a great support to her man.

Our marriage was similar in ways to you, even if we had a row, we always slept in the same bed, separate rooms just not thought about.

I'm sure you will get some grandies one day. And a puppy, I seriously think at times I'm mad having a tie like a new puppy, but I'm so looking forward to her arriving. Why don't you just go and do it, they can be a hassle especially if you want to go away, but the hassle is repaid by the love. Think about it!

Andrew said...

I just can't believe this with your son in law has happened. Don't have expectations that they will deal with it as well as you and Don did with his disability. Hope, but no pressure. Autumn should be a nice time for you. A time to wander the house and garden in the cooler weather with a glass of wine in your hand and enjoy the memories.

Middle Child said...

Got the photos back up - have no idea what happened there.
Shrinky - you are right but somehow I don't think we would have been much different people without all this happening - a lot has also to do with who you are as well - There are many good people who are just that way for no apparent reason

Middle Child said...

Anne - I hope the grand kids come soon - time is passing and I would hate to think that my kids missed out on all the pleasure they gave well as the grey hairs which i cover up so well

Middle Child said...

Andrew - its hard to believe and I was there. No there won't be any pressure from me - Melissa wouldn't let me anyway - she is only 20 years younger than me and calls me Therese rather than mum unless she is really sad or something - I like your advice about the cooler weather and the wine - and the good memories. My niece Alanah said at her own dad's funeral which I thought was quite profound - that all she had now was the memories as there will be no new memories - sometimes I am shocked that I have moments when I actually forget - things like the smell, and eyeshine - but thats part of it I am sure