Back from Melbourne.
Lucky me. The week before I got to spend a few days in Sydney with our eldest and it was wonderful. Then a few days with our youngest in Melbourne. The girls places are where I feel most relaxed and under no pressure to be anyone but who I am. They, as no doubt I have mentioned, are two of the most giving and well balanced daughters possible and best mates as well.
Something a bit magic seems to happen when we get together and even better when all three of us are together which hopefully will happen at Christmas.
We have a few home videos which we made - when Don was alive which bring us undone - not in a sad way but we usually hurt our throats laughing... he was an incredible mimic and if he decided to mimic you it was pretty cutting and usually well deserved.
Last time the girls and I were together (July 4 his birthday)we made the first new one since Don died and thought maybe we couldn't do the old magic without him - but the subject matter which shall remain nameless was so good and the mimicry so well deserved we only have to mention it and we are off. It was so good to see how it lifted the girls spirits up to be able to still do what Don taught us all so well.
I think along with respect for family and accountability, laughter and being able to laugh firstly at oneself, is probably one of the best things a parent can teach a child. Too many parents forget what it was like to be a child and how easily children laugh when not afraid to. Don was very firm with the girls and there were rules but they were reasonable rules and not ego based...something a lot of parents do...just to prove they have power.
About time to get the old hair colour out again, too from the photos...the old white hair is a coming through rapidly... so much of it.
I had a great time all up. One very sad moment was with Melissa when she was close to a man who had the same level of Quadriplegia as her dad...his arms and hands, the way he breathed when he spoke, his thin chest, the posture in the wheelchair all of it...and his sense of humour...and she was lost...she just took off in tears to the toilets . I think she keeps a lot of her feelings inside. She, after myself is the one other than Don who saw the most of the horrible things he was subjected to and no doubt like me carries a lot of what happened around like maggoty stuff just below the surface. It is to her credit and strength that she manages as well as she does. I think what she saw done to her dad would bring a lot of people unstuck. Its funny, to hug her like a small child when she is upset because she is six inches taller than me and I have to reach up...
For us and this is always there, its like a murder... caused by a system which has no accountability...therefore there is none of what people call closure...its open ended... I think this needs to be considered when something really gross is done inside the medical system... we can't call on the police to investigate, nor anyone as i have proved...the system doesn't work. So my daughters know and have to live with the fact that in Australia someone as frail as their dad could be brutalised, and killed and the authorities think its okay. Nothing is done. There is no reason to believe otherwise.
And yet these amazing kids of ours can still laugh be interested. I am so lucky because they are always considerate of my reality...
I know I have posted this photo before but the evening this was taken is as clear today as it was then 32 years ago. Don had just come home from work (it was winter) and we were all on the floor with pillows and blankies ...Melissa and Don were playing a foot tickling game with Alison and she kept putting her foot back for more... We rented that old house for $12 a week - it was tiny but close to the beach...it was heaven to live there. We had nothing much at all having arrived at Port Macquarie with an old dodge ex ambulance car, an esky and a suitcase of clothes each. In those days there were no tax file numbers, no I.D needed for most things and you could pick up work almost on the first day you arrived which we did. We acquired furniture by a sort of osmosis...people's hand me downs and second hand...I got all our wooden kitchen chairs...and they were solid and would be considered antiques these days...i got them from the furniture shop at the dump for 20cents each! I still always check out the second hand or op shops before I buy new these days because it makes sense. i like old stuff better anyway.
When I said goodbye to Alison yesterday at the airport, she hung onto me for quite a while, and then came back for more...usually its the parent who does this... She contacts me every morning to make sure I haven't been eaten by wild dogs or something overnight - but I make sure I make light of anything that does happen because I am quite capable and tough and too young to be taken care of...but its nice to know that the girls would be there for me if i needed them.
Its a stinking hot day all over NSW today...well into the 30's here and well over 40 degrees Celsius in much of the state...there are plenty of bush fires and we have to pray they cause no loss of life.
I was gobsmacked to see on the news down in Melbourne, that over a 100 lives were lost due to the fact that the electricity suppliers had not used a gadget on all the lines which cost only $5 and which would have prevented the fire that was started by those lines...and even now after a Royal commission, and all the sadness that the authorities still haven't added these gadgets to the lines!
Unbelievable. So it could all happen again because nothing has been done since the tragedy. The early warning system they all spruiked about...its not happened...nothing really. Same in NSW...I would bet there has been a whole government department working on and being well paid just trying to tackle the issue...and still nothing. Few homes have been replaced...