Sunday, September 23, 2007

Some home thoughts.
Sometimes ... like today the house and yard about is just so beautiful I feel that I am "protected" by the beauty. Then I think about something or see a photo or imagine...and i just howl with grief. For me it is still unbelievable...so unbelievable...

we really were together 24/7 as they say so glibly. He was just so vulnerable to cruelties and there was so much... too much cruelty. My job was to protect him from the worst...

I just cannot understand how people can be cruel... when most of us have so much...

if you can walk...

feel the sand under your feet, the grass in the evening cool between your toes, go to the toilet both ways normally, breathe freely, etc etc...

with just this we are okay...I learnt soon that this was enough. Enough was good.
(Melissa - Alison and their dad)
I have so much trouble even beginning to consider forgiving even family for the cruelties Don suffered because not of their ignorance... but because they just did not consider...

everything was a struggle for Don as with all high level quadriplegic wheelchair bound people...there but for the grace of God go I...all of us need to consider this...a stupid choice while driving; a stupid trip downstairs; whatever...and we are in this position ...


suddenly you become a "probleme" for correct society....



and if... only if you have good family about you or good real mates (very rare) will you be just a bit protected...just a bit...because there are many doctors and others in the medical profession who do not really believe you have a right to autonomy...



and they are the real bastards most of us have to deal with...

how smug we were here thinking we would be able to get through the "system"... a system which is moribund and has nothing at all to do with life and living.

8 comments:

j kieselguhr said...

MC, you wil understand only too well just how fragile our hold is on good health and indeed, life itself. That's reason enough to be kind to our fellow man but, sadly, it so rarely happens.

Take care.

Cazzie!!! said...

Life and living, exactly Therese. Now, go out and sit in that lovely garden, feel Don's kiss of sunrays on your cheeks..he is still with you..you are not alone at all.

more cowbell said...

Everyone should read this -- my mom has always tried to teach that to us, and I'm maybe more paranoid than most about health. It's because what you say is true -- something happens, and you only have those who love you to depend on. And tragedy brings changes even in family and friends. I've been reading your blog for a good while (I think I came via Sling). Don't comment much because ... what to add in the face of what you've gone through, I guess. Just wanted to say people out here in cyberspace hear you, and you have important things to say.

Beautiful picture of your sweethearts, by the way.

Eternally Curious said...

Truer words were never spoken. I'm so happy Don had you and the girls in his life! I know you are weary, MC, but don't give up! Don, and all others, need you now more than ever!

By the way - you've been tagged! [Pat deftly dodges the rotten tomato MC throws her way!]

rosemary said...

You have learned, lived experienced so much....I am learning from you. I am going to have to print out the documents...I have a hard time following just on the computer.

Ann O'Dyne said...

Greetings Dear Stirrer.
I do love the way Don's glance in the photo above is identical to his glance in the earliest photos of him.
A Consistent Man.
You were a lucky woman.

(and PS: I notice from today's news that the media person at RNS is having a bad day today.)

Sling said...

Always,there wil be things that spark memories of your time with Don.
It's my wish for you MC,that as time goes on whatever bitterness there may have been,mellows into sweet recall.

Middle Child said...

Thanks all of you... I should reply individually but seem never to get to it. I do appreciate all the input I get and it means a lot to me...