Sunday, July 31, 2011

My sister is a visitin' - and house inspections/ open house. Will catchup in here when I can - enjoying myself as I always do when she comes a calling -as well my medical tests all came back clear after the surgery so that is a big relief

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Sunday, July 24, 2011

You will have to click on this to be able to read it.
A friend I went to school with way back in the late 60's let my old home town paper know about my book and they ran it as a "Give away" in last week's paper. I didn't have to do anything - I was so pleased and suprsed. Its not often that you get something like this with no effort. Just thought to share the article.

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Friday, July 22, 2011

Back home all safe... I hope.
Made it through the medical system and still alive - have to admit to many tears while waiting in the trolley - not because I was afraid but because I could only imagine what Don was feeling as he was wheeled through doors like this and saw faces looking down at him - for me they were kind caring faces - as they should be... for him they were not. They didn't care less what was done to the frail vulnerable quadriplegic man who's life was in their hands and they showed that over and over. Not to worry it will all get sorted out in the great wash up. I took some photos lately about the place. We had a frost the other night and until about 8.30am the ground was white and so beautiful...the air was smelling so clean and everything had an amazing feel to it although a bit chilly. I am really going to miss my "Craggy Island" - but were I told tomorrow i was not able to move I would be really down so this is the right thing to do. To what I go forward to I have no idea but hey, when I was a teenager this would have been seen as adventure and I did not have a dollar to bless myself with. the Real Estate people were to come out here to take photos today but it was raining so they cancelled - not so good to take photos in the rain - so when the sun came out just for the moment I took these and they were happy for me to put them on a CD and bring them in so they could at least get started - these at least are not artificially widened as too many real estate photos are - we have all seen those! So took some nice piccies. In town I ran into six people in a row who i had not seen for ages and no doubt will never see again - one of them a bit of a political enemy came to me and just hugged me - so unexpected! The others all showed extreme kindness - it was bizarre. I came home physically and emotionally exhausted - but the tiredness could have been because of yesterday's surgery. I will get the results next week - crossing fingies and toes.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Big day today!
I signed up with the Real Estate Agent today - a bitter sweet moment - some private tears thats for sure - Its like I am happy to leave here - the town itself has not been a kind place really  - I think too many thought I should just cop it sweet the killing of my husband - but they were only the people who did not know and sadly it is mainly the more "professional" people in town who are like this - I have had too many who would once sit down with us and have coffee in town walk past me, ignore me,  - but I usually step right up in their faces and Say a bright " hello" which makes me smile because I can see how it disconcerts them 0 in some way I feel and I know its not my imagination  - I have stepped out of the "respectable widow" role and am seen as a shit stirrer..a role I relish because it is the shit stirrers who make change happen - and its not easy to be in this mindset -

Tomorrow I have to front up to the Port Macquarie Base Hospital for day surgery - its exploratory - as you can imagine I am sick in my guts about this after Don's last time here when they sent him down to Sydney with  inadequate notes which exacerbation what was done to him - but needs must.

Its simple stuff I know but it scares me more than you can imagine - to be in their hands, unconscious - to have to trust that the right things will be done - wish i felt lucky but time and circumstance have shown me we are not "the lucky family".

Feel like a big sook - have a taxi booked already and a friend who will spend the night after with me so am lucky - the damage done out of what was done to my lovely Don runs so deep and as I pack up my house/ my life - as I go back into the world that killed him I realise how damaged I really am. And thats whats left when those of us who see those we love abused and killed in the medical system deal with. There is not body to care about this. There is no counselling for this. Nothing. Those who have had rellos killed can hopefully access some help but for those of us...over 18,000 in 1995 who have rellos killed by medical negligence there is nothing at all - but go home and go on - I figure that by now 16 years later the figures of those killed is much much higher - and add to that the hundreds of thousands of those permanently injured - you can't even contemplate. If this many planes dropped out of the sky due to pilot  negligence it would be a national disgrace - It Is a national disgrace...but protected and submerged because there is no system of honest and open investigation - much needed and overlooked - No one wants to tackle this issue.

I think my home will sell quickly - it is so lovely, unique and peaceful out here. When I come out of town to here its almost as if a sigh of peace descends upon me as I drive through the gate - I just hope people who appreciate this will but it.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

My friend Sue's Son
This was how I heard the news of Sue O’Reilly’s son Shane’s death. My heart broke for her and the family because they also lost their Dad and husband in 2006 – a special family who gave and gave and gave – without complaint. Sometimes more is asked of some people than one can credit and those rare people give more back and you can feel the love around them – it is this way with this wonderful family who I got to know when Sue (a journalist as well as a full time carer) took on the job of editing my book and then came to the book launch in Sydney. 

Shane only completed year twelve a year back but his health had worsened in recent times. He originally had his condition caused just after birth by contracting MRSA (Golden Staph) which caused the brain damage which caused Spastic Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy. Please watch this 7.30 Report on Shane O'reilly and his family.

Sue worked hard alongside her children Jordan, Laura and Shane to better things for disabled in Australia - a badly neglected area.,

Sue was instrumental in creating the push for the National Disability Insurance Scheme NDIS and in this her son and daughter are on the Team page

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Back home again

Some photos from Bondi and the Queen Victoria Building

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Sunday, July 03, 2011

Here is the actual book review. - and excellent it is
It was just so very beautiful out here this afternoon just before sunset. Bit of a chill but some magic in the air I felt.

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Finally I gave away Don's wheelchair - it was very hard because he was in it for so long - but then i reasoned that he didn't love his chair - it was a means to an end and someone else will get some quality of life out of it as these days disabled people are treated like crap by the government and wait years sometimes for chairs and mobility aide - but hey.. we need that darn stupid soon to be outdated NBN  broadband - think how many people suffering isolation because they haven't got a wheelchair, or can't afford a decent amount of care...garrrgh! If we were civilised these would be at the apex of the triangle of needs.

I met another long term Quadriplegic, yesterday when he and his wife came to pick up the wheelchair – He looks as tired as Don used to do and guess what! His Doc said maybe you have “Sleep Apnoea” (thats what they tell all Quads who are tired - thats what they told don and another from over near Scone -and that ignorance contributed to their deaths - I told him to post haste ask for an X ray to check the lungs – I felt so much for him because I can see how tired he is and I know that look. Hopefully he can get decent treatment.

I went out to Wauchope cemetery today as it is Don’s 61st birthday tomorrow but I will be away seeing the girls for a few days – it is so peaceful and beautiful a place...Just as I was about to leave, feeling sad – a tiny little grey bird came and sat close on the next headstone and just sat there looking at me for minutes – Don loved birds and planted trees that encouraged them – I know it was just a bird but sometimes I wonder. Mum died on the same day 4th July 91993) and we were close as she was lovely (lucky me) but is not a day to be on your own the three of us and husbands will be together - didn't plan it  - it just happened

Now i have decided to  sell and move to Victoria the house seems to be showing me how lovely it all is. I will never have a place as peaceful and beautiful as this - outside the long blue shadows rest upon the paddocks away to the horizon and there is a feeling that there is something more here other than land and grass and sky...

but I just can not do another winter of long nights - can not be apart from my family much longer and can not really afford the upkeep of this lovely place of healing.

Some shots -
1. My favourite thinking spot at the table
2. The back room with the seldom used exercise bike - what was i thinking of?
3.Don's office spot and his computer still works - Brownie might see her "Aunty Jack" promo up there on the wall - it was our theme song along with a few dozen others
4. the view out the bedroom window
5. and out the bedroom door -
Its a house of windows and light.

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